The mountains raised me and they’re different now.

Utopia Through Grief is a zine about grieving what climate crisis and capitalism took from hearts through Hurricane Helene, and how to work with our grief.

Free copies available on request

Online version coming soon

Purchase with Mixam

Log cabin in rural holler in appalachia with illustrations on top, including a salamander, water skeeter, star

Illustrations by Jess Lewis, 2025. Photo is of the log cabin where they were born in Shelton Laurel, NC. Their father built it with logs from his land.

Climate crisis eats towns, fascism eats integrity, capitalism eats the self. And when it all washes away, when it’s back to ruins, what do you do? When the Marshall NC I visit as a 33 year old is suddenly the empty, dirty, boarded up Marshall of my youth again, but now laced with toxic dust, it begs the question: how the fuck do you grieve?

I don’t want to offer theory. I want to offer tools. After outlining this relationship through the lens of my experiences as the Appalachian diaspora, I show you how to move forward with your grief. I give a practical guide of how to discover our values from our grief, and how to use that to define our future.

What world do you want to build?

Physical copies are currently printed with Mixam, a printer that specializes in zines and small batch creatives’ projects

Free copies available on request

Online version coming soon

Purchase with Mixam

Photos taken by Carley Foster, October 2024

This zine was a labor of love, and an ode to the mountains that shaped my heart.

I’ve been wondering what the hell my contribution to the wider community could be at this pivotal, if I can’t offer my body. This is one of the things I can do.

Offer a pathway to hope through essays, workbooks, and workshops. Provide them for free.

Because, as odd as it sounds, I think the future we hope for, one of integrity and connection and kindness, is way closer than we could imagine. I hope you’ll join me in weaving it.

Graphic and illustrations by Jess Lewis, don’t use this without talkin to me first cuz that’s a dick move

All free! No catch! I mean you can throw money at it if you want, but that isn’t the point.
I talk a lot in the essay about how we’re all kind of pushed to run a grift on each other. In the spirit of rejecting that, I want to provide this for free as a gift.
This isn’t my day job and I don’t want it to be. I like my day job. This is one of the things I can offer to help other people as we try to survive a world that can feel hard.
So, I’m setting aside a portion of my salary every month that I can to fund printing and distribution. Any donations go to that pool of funds.
That’s really kind of you! Any funds received will go towards printing new copies of zines and shipping costs.
Alternatively if you’d like to give directly to an organization making a difference in WNC, please consider Beacon of Hope ( https://bohmarshall.org/ ). They’ve cone good work for a long time and you can donate or sign up to volunteer on their site.
We’re working on setting up on demand printing. This is a capability of the printer we’re working with. It’ll take a sec to set up though, so hang tight!
I get it, I’m not used to only being able to find something as a physical copy too. I am working on a version of the essay and workbook that would be available online and not lose too much of the essence of the zine. It’ll take a little bit to set up though.